Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Things that annoy me to the point of an aneurism

(Originally written Monday, April 10, 2006)

People who walk in front of you really slowly, but also in such a drunken way that you cant get around them. Theyre in no rush, so they walk slower than an octogenarian. These people are most often found in narrow walkways.

People who ask, Whats your problem? Do they really expect an answer to that or is it rhetorical? I am usually not even aware that I have a problem until somebody decides to point it out to me.

People who use lol more than once a sentence. In fact, more than once a year is too much. There isnt that many funny things written online that would actually make me laugh out loud.

People who drive slower than the speed limit, or who actually drive the speed limit. Those limits are suggestions people!

How airlines board people in the front of planes first. What kind of sense does this make? I never have first class, so I always have to walk past 8 million people and apologize to each one of them about my bag hitting them in the face.

People who are so self-absorbed that they couldnt even name our current Vice-President, (its Spiro Agnew, right?)

People who wear the shirt of the person theyre going to go see in concert. Dont be that guy!

50 Cent, the Game, Blink 182 and other examples of corporate-created music.

WPs and their crazy WP behavior.

The way chicks spend too much time worrying about weird part of their bodies, like eyebrows. Any guy will tell you, as long as you dont have a unibrow, youre straight.

People who stand in line at a fast food joints but dont think about what they want until they get to the front of the line. If you don't know what youre in the mood for, why did you go there? Let me tell you, as a person who's been behind the counter and as a person who's been behind these mental defects in line, I really dont get these people.

People who spend 20 minutes digging around for coins so they can give exact change.

People (sales associates, people behind counters) who spend too much time with the jibba jabba with customers. I got shit I needs to do people!

People who take pride in being ignorant.

Country music.

The whole damn Natalee Holloway story. Shes dead, let the damn story die! What about all the black people who get kidnapped?

Reality television, (except for Real World up to its fifth season. After that it just got stupid.)

Blogs that arent written by or about me.

People who have more fun than me.

People who laugh or smile wayyy too much. They must not know how insincere it looks.

Math, and therefore, to a lesser degree, Soduko. Im fairly ambivalent toward people who play it.


People who are so lazy they make lists as blog entries.

People who will have a conversation near you loud enough to be heard. Thats not the part that annoys me though. The part that annoys me is when these people will be having a conversation about something which you a very well versed in and theyre totally wrong about everything theyre saying, but you can't correct them or else you'd be jumping unbidden into their little world of make believe. Then they look at you as if you just told them you graduated college with a major in bestiality.

People who dont listen.

Show offs.

Finding out about people who had crushes on you years too late to do anything about it.

People who think Golf, bowling, cards or car racing are sports. They arent.

People who do that whole gaa-gaa goo-goo thing with babies. I wont even call it baby talk because babies dont talk that way, only stupid-ass adults do. If you talk to your kids like youre retarded, theyre going to have a very limited vocabulary when they grow up. Dont talk down to your kids!

The weak-ass way people go hunting for vulnerable and innocent creatures of the forest and the field. If you want to hunt, strip down to a pair of shorts, smear yourself with mud and the scat of your prey, track them down through the woods, (instead of sitting in a tree wearing a bright orange vest and drinking beer, waiting for some animal to start humping the fake deer thats standing out in the field below) and kill them with a knife, though your bare hands would be better. Be sure to quickly eat the still hot and steaming heart of the animal you have killed. This can truly be considered hunting.

People who are annoyed by enough things to complain and list them.

Bloggers who dont know when to end an entry.

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