In this day and age, everybody and their diseased
grandmother* has a damn podcast. You can barely take five steps without
tripping over a couple of neckbeards with a podcast where they break down Tattooed
Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills, one episode at a time. And yes,
that’s a real show. Or maybe it’s a cooking podcast with dishes using only
locally sourced ingredients from restaurant dumpsters, because that’s what’s
best for the environment and your bowels!
Unfortunately, it is my ironic duty to say that I have also
jumped into the fray, bringing my own brand of stupidness to this bloated
miasma of voices screaming into the void, begging to be heard.
Except my shit is funny.
Allow me to introduce you to your new favorite pastime,
which is basically just listening to the magnificent timbre of my melodious voice.
For people who don’t know me in real life, (or IRL as we cool kids say), then
now’s your chance to add a voice to the well-crafted wordplay you’ve come to
expect when reading my words.
Do you like movies? Sure, we all do, (except for Leopold,
but who cares about that guy?!) Especially movies with characters, dialogue and
maybe, if you’re lucky, a location or two. Who could ask for anything more?
Me. I could ask for more.
Sometimes just watching a movie isn’t enough. Sometimes the
movie is so good or technically astounding that you want a peek behind the
curtains. Sometimes a movie is so baffling and brain-meltingly defective, that
you need to know how the hell it was made, or you’ll never get a second of
sleep again and you’ll end up in a padded room facing a corner and rocking back
and forth while singing “This is the song that never ends.”
When things like this happen, when your curiosity about the
behind-the-scenes work, the natural thing to do is to listen to the movie
commentary. Usually that’s the director, the producer, maybe the script-writer
and an actor or two, sitting in a cigarette smoke-filled room, reminiscing
about making the movie as they watch it. You get some good insight, some funny
stories and a lot of jibber jabber.
I’m here to offer you an alternative to such meritocracy. The
Lunchbox Podcast. With the Lunchbox Podcast, you get to learn about
your favorite movies while enjoying a hearty guffaw at the same time. Here’s the premise: you download an episode of
Lunchbox. Each episode is a different movie. We cover all types: 80s, late 80s,
early 80s, and probably other non-80s related flicks, there’s no way to be
certain. Once you’ve downloaded an episode, you acquire the movie that will be
commented upon. Then you play the movie while simultaneously listening to our
podcast. Don’t worry, we make syncing up both things very easy. And voila! You
get to watch a movie with some hilarious, disembodied voices commenting on the
action!
John “Tidily-winks” Kinhart and I started Lunchbox Podcast
about a year ago as a way to learn more about the movies we enjoy and make fun
of them at the same time. Very much in the vein of one of our favorite shows Mystery
Science Theater 3000, and if you don’t know that the hell that show is,
don’t fret, that means you actually have a life.
Of course, I’m kidding about all episodes being 80s movies.
A lot of them are, because that’s just our wheelhouse. But our real mission is
to mostly pick movies that are easily accessible and haven’t been done to death
by other podcasts and tv shows. Meaning such fare as The Room and Human
Centipede were right out. They’re low hanging fruit. We try to be all encompassing. Comedy,
romance (gag!) horror, science fiction, and more. We’ve commented on such
movies as Die Hard, When Harry Met Sally, Airborne, Return
to Oz, Friday, Princess Bride and the Zapruder film.**
So, if you’re stuck in traffic, or an elevator, or a boring
college lecture or even in another annoying and pointless argument with your
significant other or overbearing mother, turn on a tv (or activate your optic
holographic simulators, depending on what year you’re reading this), toss on
your headphones, pop a Fizzleschmitz And enjoy a laugh or two on us, your friendly neighborhood Lunchbox Podcast.
*How does one even contract the Bubonic Plague in Iowa?
** One of these may be a lie.
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