(I wrote this out of anger in 2014 after the murder of Michael Brown and the riots in Ferguson. I didn't post it because it wasn't really funny and it was really just an exercise to get shit off my chest. But today being the holiday it is, I revisited what I wrote and I wonder, has anything changed? Are we better or worse?)
There. Feel better now? Get it all out of your system? Your
rioting. Your protests (both violent and peaceful.*) Your sharing the links to
a dozen different, (yet all equally ineffectual) online articles, some written
by actual writers with an idea of how language works and how words fit
together, some written by people with a keyboard and at least two working
fingers, but little else.
All pointless.
Your anger. Your righteous indignation. Your raging
against…something. The system? Racism? Cops? Is it all out there? Have you
divested yourself of that negativity?
I certainly hope so. I mean sure, people are dead, still
dead, even more dead and dying. And sure, the police officers who killed these
people are free, with no sense of accountability, ready to kill again (with
extreme prejudice) or sign that lucrative book deal. Whichever they prefer. Oh
yeah, and the system hasn’t changed either. So the same stuff is going to
happen again and again until we run out of innocents to kill or become too
desensitized to care. But on the bright
side, I know I can sleep at night, because I shared a bunch of hashtags, I
“liked” some scathing articles aimed at people who will never read them and
basically showed the world that I’m totally on the side of people who think randomly
and senselessly killing minorities is a no-no.
Of course, the actual murders were just the appetizer. I too
was a part of the throngs who demanded action and accountability. I too wanted
to see the perpetrators of these crimes, the police officers we entrust with
our lives and safety, explain their actions and get what’s coming to them. I
too was dumbfounded by the fact that other, regular Americans, people who
probably eat the same foods I do, shop at the same stores and watch the same
shows as me, could EVEN THINK of
events in ways that didn’t match my own opinions or views of the world. I too
confused justice and revenge.
But then it was the next morning. The dead people were still
dead, the live ones still alive and it dawned on me that simply having a
viewpoint wasn’t enough to change the world. Breaking into creepy third-world
electronics stores** didn’t change the world. Being really mad and telling
everybody that I was mad and confused didn’t change the world either. I
realized that there was probably very little I could do about it. I’m certainly
not going to don a cape and a mask to dispense justice myself. That sounds far
too involved. And for once it didn’t seem like dumping water on my head for
“awareness” purposes, or bullying people for not voting was going to accomplish
much either.
The way I see it, the world is an unfair place and unfair
shit happens all the time. Including racist shit. And pointless death. If you
want, you can believe in God or karma as cosmic entities who right wrongs all
over the universe and maintain the balance of the force. You can say to
yourself that they’re on the case and in the end things will work out just
fine. More power to you. Delusion is bliss. I’d jump on that train in a moment
if I thought it was productive.
When you ground your kids, they say it’s unfair and you tell
them to deal with it. Why not take your own advice? Think the world operates
differently for you because you’ve got a few extra years, pounds and crotch
hairs than your children? Conceited much? The unfairly killed dead people
didn’t have happy endings and I’m pretty sure that you can do whatever you want
in their names and they won’t care in the slightest.
Oh, and before I go, I just want to give an extra shout-out
to the people who keep going on about this Conversation
About Racism, they want to have. That’s adorable and totally feasible. It’s
not a patronizing argument to hide behind in the slightest. Hey Americans, stop
being racist and treating people of different races poorly! I’m sure that if we
just sit down and talk things out, we’ll have this sorted in no time. Talking has
worked so well for so many other countries and ethnicities throughout history.
Because deep down people are intelligent, rational and willing to admit that
their viewpoints should be changed. That’s a reasonable thing to assume about
people, right?
Anyway, that’s all I have to say about things. Don’t look
for words of wisdom, (from me, or anybody else, to be honest). Don’t look for
solace or peace. Not when it comes to cops who kill 12-year-old boys, or who
choke to death grown men who use their remaining air and the last words on
their lips to explain how that whole breathing thing needs to continue if they
want to live. Not when it comes to racism. Not when it comes to our penal
system or our fellow Americans (both of which are just simply terrible). There
can’t be peace. And the anger will grow and grow with no legit outlet for it.
Then it consumes and spreads out. And that’s how we get super villains and clock
tower snipers.
Nobody can tuck you in bed at night and send you to sleep
with the satisfying notion that everything will be alright. No news article and
be the balm that soothes your burning heart. The world is unfair. The end.
*Seriously though, I
managed to “acquire” a BETAMAX player. How random is that?!
**Ray-Ray’s Discount
Electronics Boutique on Spencer Road. The Walkmen are on the shelf next to the
BETAMAXs.
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