(Sorry for there being more spelling errors than usual. This was a rush job this morning. Please to be grain-of-salting this thing I wrote in 30 mins.)
As many of you, some of you, none of you know, I (Josh) like
to keep abreast of the daily goings-on in the world. From political debacles in
Latveria, to the latest lotto winner in Thalidomide, AK., I stay in the know by
watching and reading the news on an almost daily basis. So imagine my surprise,
sadness and befuddlement when I read this news story last night.
It seems that the body of a Navy vet was discovered in his
apartment in the quaint, and oft-overlooked town of DeSoto Tx. (Motto: Where
am I on a map again?) He was dead, and had been for a while. How long you
ask? Oh, I dunno, how about
THREE YEARS!
Wrap your head around that. I want you to go sit in a
corner, facing the wall, put on some noise-cancelling headphones, ignore your
surroundings including your boss Mr. Wormface telling you to get back to your
cubicle, and try to comprehend the situation I have just laid out before you. Do
you know how many factors had to be in play for this to happen?
It seems that he had his rent paid automatically through his
income. Although, unless he specialized as being a corpse in episodes of Law
& Order, I have no clue what his income would be. But whatever, he had enough
in his bank account to take care of rent. But that still doesn’t make sense.
I’m a man of the world, I’ve lived in houses, apartments,
yurts, dorms, tents, barracks, crawlspaces and mystical caverns. I have yet to
live in an apartment complex that didn’t raise the rent yearly. But that’s
fine, let’s say that either his brand-new (more on that later) apartment was
rent controlled, or he had enough in the bank to cover any rate hikes, there’s
still the fact that he needs to sign contracts to stay or leave the apartment after
a certain amount of time. That’s just how the faceless, heartless companies
that run apartment complexes work. It’s all about the paper, both money and legally-binding
contracts.
But ok, ignore that. Also, let’s ignore utilities. I’m not
aware of an apartment complex that covers all utilities, but maybe I’ve just
drawn the short end of the straw with that and there are places that do cover every
utility. That’s good, more power to the people who live in those complexes, I’m
jelly. However, what about his cable or satellite bills? Surely those weren’t
covered by his rent. Then again, maybe his service provider just cut off
service and sent angry letters about his account. But if that’s true, that
brings me to my next point: what was the deal with his mailbox?
I once lived in an apartment where I literally stopped
opening my mailbox and checking my mail, because I mostly had junk mail and
flyers and shit. One day I opened the box to discover a note from the mailman
saying that they quit delivering my mail (something about no more space in my
mailbox) and I could go pick it up at the post office. To which I replied with
my own note that as soon as he stopped delivering junk mail, I’d start picking
up my mail.* It got to the point where they started returning letters to people
who sent them to me. I find it surprising that the post office in DeSoto didn’t
do something similar.
And what about packages that UPS or FedEx shipped? Wouldn’t
they have put sticky notes on the door? And every building has that one nosy tenant
(I’m talking about you Mrs. Snodgrass!) who would say something to management
about all the stickers, or the pile of newspapers in front of the door. None of
it makes sense!
Hey, you’re wondering, what about the smell? And you’re
right. Once a guy died in my father’s apartment building and nobody noticed for
two weeks until the smell became too much. Same thing happened a few months ago
to a college student in Europe. He’d been dead in his dorm room for a month
before the smell finally made people notice something was wrong (by the way, how
much do crime scene cleaners get paid? It’s not enough). The cop who arrived on
the scene said he “noticed that the decomposition was advanced.” I know that
eventually once all the liquids dry and the gases dissipate, that the smell
lessens, but still. Did he live in a building full of noseless people? The news
article said that the windows in his brand-new apartment were still sealed shut
and airtight with plastic. I didn’t know apartments came that way, but it’s
still confusing as to why he didn’t remove the plastic and get some air in
there. It was Texas after all.
He was discovered by maintenance guys checking apartments
where occupants weren’t using water. That also seems bewildering to me. Usually
maintenance workers always have to install some kind of new filters for your AC
or whatever, or do yearly pest sweeps or something. I just don’t understand how
everybody could have ignored him for YEARS.
What about his family? Well, that’s the kicker. He was 51.
His mother had no idea where he even lived. She called him once for his
birthday in 2017. He didn’t answer. And that’s pretty much it. She couldn’t
afford private investigators, and cops said that since he was naval and tended
to travel, that he was just out gallivanting or something. She just gave up and
sat there crying every holiday, wondering why her son was never there to be
with her.
He lived alone. He died alone. But at least he died as he
lived: Face down, Ass up.
*It didn’t work. Never fight the post office kids. They
are a powerful lot.
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