I recently read an article online, (okay, I actually skimmed
most of the headline and every fourth word of the first three paragraphs, but I
got the gist) about a couple from Pennsylvania who decided to hold their
wedding at the place where they met and fell in blessed love: Walmart.
They got married there (at a 24-hour Walmart no less)
because they wanted their coworkers to be able to attend. I guess Walmart is
owned by Ebenezer Scrooge?
Bob Cratchett:
Please sir? May I go to hospital?*
Scrooge: Whatever
for man?
Cratchett: I was
just attacked by a dog foaming at the mouth and me arm’s fallen off.
Scrooge: You’ve
still got another arm. Get back to work Cratchett!
Now, as far as weird ass weddings go, I’ve heard of crazier.
Hell, I’ve written about crazier ones. There was the time a man in his 80’s and
a woman in her 70s decided to get married and live in separate houses,
(remember that? Genius!) Or the lady who had a full-on ceremony to marry the
Eiffel Tower. But this is still bonkers.
I get that people want marriages that stand out and are
special and memorable, but sometimes people sacrifice taste for flare. Then
again, who am I to say anything? In an 84 Glyde I wrote back in 2006, I said I
wanted my wedding to be on the moon and presided over by a Kung Fu Buddhist
Monk. So whatever makes people happy, they can be free to do. Just know that I
reserve the right to judge and make fun of you if I so deem it.
*Brits don’t ever say
“The Hospital,” or “The University.” Don’t ask me why. I don’t know why they
name their food “Bubble and Squeak” either. I leave them to their own
devices.
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