Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Random musings from a deranged mind

* Was John Candy really that funny, or was he just a fat guy that people liked to laugh at?
* Is global warming such a bad thing? I don't mind a few warmer days in the year. Cold weather sucks.
* On the other hand, a white Christmas every once in a while would be nice.
* Why are doors the size they are? People are constantly moving in and out of places and they have to get degrees in physics just to figure out how to get the couch through the door. Who decided to make doors the size they are?
* I've been balding since I was 16. I don't mind it, but I've always wanted a set of fabulous bangs.
* I've decided to be a water conservationist. From now on, instead of washing my clothes, I'm just going to buy new ones. And instead of taking showers every day, I'm just going to go through the car wash with my windows down.
* The 80s were pretty weird, weren't they?
* What's this decade called? The naughts? For that matter, what will the next decade be called? I just can't live in a non-labeled time period.
* I wouldn't bang Amy Winehouse if you gave me a million dollars.
* Living a good life isn't the best revenge, stabbing somebody in the spinal cord and paralyzing their ass is.
* I've never watched a complete episode of American Idol in my life. And you know what? I don't feel that I'm missing a thing. Same goes for every other reality show out there.
* After saying that I was an analog guy who eschews technology in a previous entry, I got an iPod for Christmas. Life's a funny old thing.
* The Joker is one of the coolest villains out there, (Lex Luthor is the other one) his insanity brings a certain amount of freedom to life that I'm jealous of. I'd love to turn around to that guy in the movie theater who's talking on his phone and just squirt some horribly disfiguring acid on his face.
* Religion causes more problems than it solves, doesn't it? I think I've said that before. I wish Jesus would just show up and roundhouse kick Bush out of office.
* I'm thinking about letting just the hair on my neck grow out. It'll be a new fashion statement: neck-beards.
* Samuel L. Jackson is a complete bad ass, isn't he?
* I think I could take the Pope in a fight.
* I've decided to retire from work. I really don't like working.
* There sure are a lot of ugly people out there. Nudist colonies are full of them.
* I heard that American accents just make European ladies moist. I'm not sure I believe it.
* I wish I had prehensile toes and legs that bend the other way, then I could climb trees all day and enjoy the views.
* Racism is still as strong as ever people, don't think for a moment that it's gone away or even abated since the 60s. Unconscious racial profiling and stereotypes permeate our school history books. American children are taught to be bigots and they don't even realize it.
* Blogging doesn't pay like it should. It hasn't gotten me laid yet.
* Garbage men don't get enough respect. They spend their lives dealing with peoples' refuse and nobody ever thanks them. Of course, they get a lot of free shit, so I guess it evens out.
* I think that being a crime-scene photographer has got to be one of the grossest jobs around. I don't care how many dead naked chicks I get to take pictures of.
* Who invented money? That person was a jerk.
* Since I was 17 I haven't lived in the same place for longer than a year. After 10 years of moving I'm a wee bit tired of it. I need a Fortress of Solitude.
* If I could have one super power, it'd be the ability to teleport myself anywhere instantaneously. No bank or women's changing room would be safe!
* There sure are a lot of fetishes out there. I don't judge. In Japan there's a fetish for women who are underwater without goggles. Guys get off on seeing women trying to blink the chlorine out of their eyes, I guess.
* I would love to have the A-Team van.
* I'm thinking of converting to being a carnivore. Gotta battle this vegetarianism fad somehow. As Maddox once said: "For every one animal you don't eat, I'll eat three!"
* I annoy a lot of people. It's not intentional, I just have a gift.

1 comment:

Josh's sister said...

forget the people who have to take pictures of the crime scenes, what about the ones who have to clean them up?