Friday, March 30, 2007

Laughter may be the best medicine but I still prefer abusing oxycodon

People ask me all the time, “Josh, you are one funny mofo. Everything you write is comedic gold. It simply amazes and astounds me that there can be a person as funny as you are without spontaneously combusting from pure humor overload. Tell me, what do you, the Shakespeare of Funny, find funny? Who makes you laugh?”

This is a valid question; after all, nobody lives in a complete vacuum. And indeed I do find many people to be funny. White people for instance. I get a big kick out of y’all. You’ll often find me sitting on a bench at my local mall, noshing on some noshables, WP-watching and shaking my head in stunned disbelief as I chuckle softly to myself at your wacky WP antics.

But, there are also people I find funny who try to be funny on purpose. And oddly enough I found most of those people on Myspace (motto: A place for getting spammed to death by jerks) and to be honest, I think they’re all better writers then me too.

Today I’d like to introduce some of my favorite blog writers. The people that I turn to when I need a laugh, (and maybe to steal a joke or two.)

Baron Von Awesome:

The Baron’s irreverent wit, garnered from years of hard drinkin and hard livin often has me rolling on the floor laughing out loud, (wow, I wish there were a quicker and shorter way to write all about how I laugh). He lives the way he wants and writes about it in a way that makes you want to go to one of his performances and throw things at him. I think he’d appreciate the show of love.

What this world needs is the ass-kickery of the Old Testament God combined with the quick response, zero rules of Zen. Who embodies this? Who is the proactive new prophet to guide the weary masses through the drudgery of modern life? The Incredible Hulk, that's who. You don't have to worry about a bunch of rules with The Hulk. You cross him, there is no reprieve. Hell, you don't even have to do much to piss him off and he will come over to your place and WRECK YOUR SHIT. "Peace of the Lord be with you always"? I think not. Try "HULK SMASH" fuck face. No more waiting around for cosmic justice to get the wicked. Just pray to Hulk and he'll have your back. Hallelujah and Amen.



Mick has a way with words. The first blog of his I read made me jealous. Though most people might not understand it, being funny isn’t enough, one needs the perfect delivery vehicle or else the joke just falls flat, (as mine so often do). Mick takes great jokes, wraps them up in a box with a bow and places them gently and lovingly at your feet for you to appreciate.

I continued on, my day was now my mission. I would survive it, yes, I would. Anticipating my next adventure, I came across two well dressed folks discussing opposing views of the political nature. As I came closer to them I recognized that the conversation was becoming a bit too intense for my taste. I stepped quickly between them just before blows were released. I pulled out a guitar and broke into a song entitled, Pro-Life Dont Mean Anti-Woman and Liberal Aint Code for Non-Patriot.

Organization for Respectification:

I don’t know how many people are in this Organization, but it doesn’t matter everything on this page is hilarious. The organization has a great appreciation of the finer things in life, such as Chuck Norris, and delivers great political sarcasm. I’ve read the blogs over and over waiting for something new. Can’t get enough.

President Bush addresses the Nation from the White House to lay out his plan for a new way forward in Iraq. On securing Baghdad: Our past efforts to secure Baghdad failed for two principal reasons: I am clinically retarded. And... No. Just the one. Our military commanders reviewed the new Iraqi plan and promptly hid my mini-bar key. And the dog. Still can't find that dog. Prime Minister Ma-laki-oki-thing-a-ma-bob, Stretch I call 'em, has pledged that political or sectarian interference will not be tolerated. And as soon as I find out what that means, I'll write it down on the thought pad in my head. Brain. Somethin'.


Everything these guys do is pure, one hundred percent, uncut humor. If you like making fun of people or looking at people making fun of themselves, then go check out their site. Trust me, you’ll feel better if you do. From the endless pictures of Myspace bammas, to the blogs, to the forum, everything you read is guaranteed to have you pissing yourself. I can’t even put an example here because there’s just too much.

So take some time to go to these sites. Read their stuff. I’m addicted to these people like Courtney Love is addicted to making an ass out of herself. Would I steer you wrong?

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